Regardless
by Schizoid7Loner
Summary: You stare up at the sky through heart broken tears and dare the sun to rise. KidxFemaleCrona. Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Eater, my therapist has helped me come to terms with this.


**Title: Regardless**

**Summary: You stare up at the sky through heart broken tears and dare the sun to rise. **

**A/N: Not sure what to say, I was inspired to write this last night...and well, finally finished it. I figured why not post it.**

**Another contribution to Kid and Crona three months awareness. Read at your own risk. **

* * *

Memories are a funny thing.

* * *

Do you remember the way you use to be stared down? The way you would involuntarily flinch whenever someone would touch you? The way you use to keep your distance from everybody because you were convinced that shinigami don't make friends?

Do you know you still do all these things?

You walk behind your twin pistols, face aloof and posture perfect. The new 'friends' you have made are up ahead, laughing, having a good time. And you're quiet and reserved.

Sometimes you wish you could be just like them.

* * *

The sun rises and sets. East to west, backwards, forwards. Time and time again, it does not change.

You stand on top of a skyscraper, face devoid of anything and everything. It's dark out, the sun hasn't even awakened yet, you aren't sure why you are doing this, why you have _been _doing this for exactly three weeks now. But it doesn't really matter now does it?

You sit and wait for the sunrise. A quiet activity, something just to yourself. Time to think, that is what this is. You stare down at the ground below, and wonder what it would feel like to jump.

It isn't that you are suicidal, because you are not. It's just curiosity, you are aware about the fear many humans bear in regards to death. They way they often mutter that their lives are unimportant because the sun would still rise, and still set, no matter who were to die. And it seems strange to you. Strange that anyone would be afraid of you or your father. You don't understand this odd fear because you are (nearly) immortal.

So you stand at the edge of the building as the first rays of light strike your pale body, but are unable to reach your morbid thoughts, and you wonder what it would feel like to die.

* * *

You stare out the window at the twittering birds flying around in uneven asymmetrical circles and suppress the urge to expel bile from your body. You don't even bother to pay attention to the lesson professor Stein is teaching, you already know all the answers, there is no point in taking notes. So instead you focus on the imperfections around you.

It's all hideous and improperly formed and you wonder how anyone could find spring beautiful. Finally you turn away from the window, disappointed with the disorder outside and sweep your gaze across all the students in the classroom. Asymmetrical? Yes some of them, but you have trained yourself to refrain from attacking them, it hurts to say so, but you know you can't save everyone.

Stein drones on and on with some lecture as your gaze finally stops on Crona. Head bent down and back curved, she looks like she is attempting to make herself invisible. More importantly, from your seat, her posture allows you to see the unevenly cut frindge hanging over her forehead. Your left eye twitches, and you aren't sure why, you have trained yourself to leave people alone, it is none of your concern….you can't save everybody.

But looking at her. Your training doesn't seem to matter all that much. Your anxiety is starting to increase as your eyes remain glued to her asymmetrical hair, why can't you let it go? There are plenty of other students that are lacking in symmetry, a lot more than Crona is. So why do her imperfections bother you so much?

You aren't particularly close with her, so your reason for caring doesn't make a lot of sense…

You can't save everybody. You know this and have come to terms with it, but still, this doesn't stop you from wanting to save her.

* * *

Anxiety fills your arms, legs, and torso as you spasm uncontrollably on the floor. It's vile compounds drill holes in your brain as you try to swallow down the blood threatening to leap from your mouth.

It's imperfect, asymmetrical, disproportionate, distorted!

You can faintly hear Liz in the Background calling out to you, and you feel a tired, frustrated hand touch your shoulder. Vaguely, you can hear her voice telling you to calm down and…quit making a scene. You want to scream at _her _to calm down! Can't she see the lack of congruency present before her? How can she stand there and not care!

Your friends stand around you and laugh at your haggard state, and this only makes you want to scream louder! How can they just stand by, point their fingers and laugh as you waste away! How can they disregard the total lack of symmetry evident in the pai-

A gentle, yet slightly shaky, hand settles on your right shoulder and your head involuntarily snaps to look at the intruder. It's only Crona, she's staring at you with a worried expression gracing her features.

"I-I understand."

She goes on to try to comfort you, tell you that there are plenty of other symmetrical things around. But all you can think about are those first two words.

_I understand_

She listened to your rant, you realize. She offered sincere comfort, and tried to understand something she had never once thought about because…..it mattered to you. She didn't laugh, she didn't get frustrated with you, she didn't brush you aside. She _listened, s_he cared.

* * *

You steadily make your way to the dorm located at the very first floor of the DWMA, posture perfect, face aloof. You are going to visit the black blooded meister, Crona. The corridors are poorly lit as you make your way through, and finally, finally arrive at her door.

It's open, this seems odd, but you don't question it. Moving the door a little more you peek your head in to say hello to her. She's not there.

Maka and Soul stand in her place, faces down cast as Maka wipes the tears from her red eyes, her hold on the note she is holding tightens as both meister and weapon become aware of your presence.

An hour later, you stumble home. Alone. Feet heavy with the news of Crona's departure, she's runaway. You lean against your door as the realization finally hits home. She's gone, she left and is probably never coming back. You do not know when you will see her again.

The aloof expression on your face falls and hits the ground, shattering into a hundred million pieces.

* * *

_As a Grimm reaper, your job is to keep everything in perfect balance. _

Perfect balance, that it the key to everything, that is what you have been raised to believe. It is what is most important, what absolutely needs to exist. Symmetry is everything, and you would do anything not to endanger this honorable rule.

Still, that doesn't stop your chest from tightening when you receive orders to kill the girl.

* * *

Gone, all gone.

You stand in the middle of the room as the world around you begins to fall apart. Nobody speaks, there is nothing to say.

Gone, she's gone.

You see everything, yet it is as if you aren't really here. From the corner of your eye you watch as Maka leans on Soul for support, head in her hands, shaking with silent sobs. They found her body laying in the church. She's dead. Crona….she's dead. It's dark out, the sun hasn't even risen yet, the day has not even begun, and now you don't want it to.

You can feel your heart being torn asunder, shredded until there is nothing left but broken shards, and pulverized pieces. You love her, it isn't a question, it isn't a declaration, it's a fact. One you weren't fast enough to realize until it was to late, it's much to late and she never even _knew,_ and maybe that's what makes her demise all the more painful.

_their lives are unimportant because the sun would still rise, and still set, no matter who were to die._

But no, she's different. This time the sun won't rise, the world won't go on turning, not for you, it's all over, it was over before it even began. You stare at the dark sky, tears dripping down your face, as if daring the sky to dishonor her, because she's important, she matters. Comforting hands place themselves on your shoulder and you don't even have to turn to know it's Liz and Patty. You can hear them speaking, but at the same time their words don't register, however you can tell that they've seen your tears and are trying to help. Doesn't matter, none of it matters, because soothing words won't bring her back. It. Doesn't. Matter.

The sun is rising and somehow, the world feels a little colder, and you loves order a little less than before. No! Her life mattered, _it mattered!_ You want to scream, cry out for it to stop, this can't be happening, she isn't dead! She can't be gone! But the sun continues to rise expelling the darkness that surrounds it and smiling at the world, uncaring of the countless lives that have been lost that day, including a certain black blooded girl.

The others all look away as you fall to your knees and scream.

* * *

Head laying against the wall your father tells you to take over for him. The time has come for you to take your rightful place as Shinigami, this is an honor that only you are entitled to, your life goal has finally been achieved. And you couldn't care less.

What's the point of being Shinigami if you cannot bring back the dead.

* * *

The world is falling apart all around you as screaming people bustle around screaming for help, protection from the madness. You are Shinigami, you know that it is your duty to protect these people...but..

_s-shinigami-kun I think the stripes in your h-hair are kind of c-cute..._

Savior, that is your title, your job. You are supposed to save these people.

_H-hello, I think I-I remember you_

But as you look around at the fallen meisters, weapons, and civilians, you can't seem to bring yourself to care. You stopped caring when s_he _passed, how do you feel with a heart that has been broken into a thousand pieces? Looking around, you are reminded of the fact you learned long ago: You can't save everybody.

_I-I understand_

Everything comes crashing down, and for a second...just a second, the world is silent. But you weren't asking to save everybody, just HER, you only wanted HER! Had it been too much to ask to be able to keep her? Black Star and Maka fall along with Liz and Patty, and you should feel heart broken, devastated. But there is nothing left to break. You shut your eyes as the madness begins to take over and it hurts, _it hurts, _though not as much as remaining awake.

* * *

There is no one the next morning, all is silent, all is still, innocent people lay slain across the side walks, and at the heart of the massacred pile lays Death the Kid.

The sun rises.

* * *

Memories are a funny thing.

* * *

**A/N: Not sure how I feel about this one...so leave a review, tell me your thoughts...think I could have made the ending a little more morbid?**

**So let me know If I have successfully made anyone hate the sun. Anyways, I decided to name this story 'regardless' because the sun...rises no matter who dies, which is something that Kid struggles with all throughout this story. Also, if you pay close attention, the theme 'memories are a funny thing' plays a pretty good part in the eventual death of...death (oh the irony...), while it is true that his end was actually indirectly caused by Crona, it is because he remembers her and refuses to let her go that he gives up.**

**Corny? Well to bad , unfortunately for all of you, I happen to like corny. Stop laughing.**

**Thank you very much for taking the time to read this story, leave a review! Your opinions are much appreciated.**


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